The Singularity is Here!

and I’m less than thrilled

Appliances that notify

First, my robot mop got stuck under a piece of plastic and sat there, it’s red LED glaring ominously at me while beeping a sad, 1-bit tone.
Then the robot vacuum cleaner upstairs cheerfully notified me it was done, with a cheerful emoticon. Funny, I heard it still running upstairs. I went up two floors to find it spiraling around in the kitchen. Somehow, it wasn’t able to find its home. I picked it up like a turtle on its back, and set it down in front of it, pressing the “Dock” button.

Minutes later, preparing lunch, I needed to melt some cheese in the new “connected!” microwave.I opened the door and took the cheese out, and closed the door. I turned away to put the cheese on the burgers and the oven started calling me, “Hey, you done? Turn me off or I’ll beep at you every 15 seconds,” which is exactly what happened.

Yesterday, my watch, seeing that I haven’t walked the 10,000 steps for a few days, actually asked me “Would you like to reduce your goal?”

Every night when we watch TV shows on my Android media server, an audio notification blasts out at top volume. I’ve spent hours trying to figure out what it is or where it comes from, to no avail. It comes at a random time after boot up, so even if we mute the TV for 15 minutes, it suddenly screams out for no reason. At least it only happens once a night.

I have neither Alexa nor Home in the house, but apparently, I’m still not safe.